


keep my body dirty and my eyes closed and clean

by demiboyharrie



Series: you're so good at talking smack [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Bottom Louis, Boxer Harry, Breathplay, Choking, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Felching, M/M, Mean Louis, Recreational Drug Use, Rimming, Smut, Southern AU, Top Harry, Toxic Relationship, Unsafe Sex, in more than one way
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-30
Updated: 2017-07-30
Packaged: 2018-12-08 18:54:38
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11652636
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/demiboyharrie/pseuds/demiboyharrie
Summary: louis' dad is still emotionally abusive, and harry's still boxing. both boys cope in whatever ways they can, even at the other's expense.“I don’t even know why I bother coming here. If I wanted a cry, I’d have stayed in my room. I don’t need you to defend my honor, like I’m some sniveling little bitch. I came here to forget about it. I came here to get fucked.”





	keep my body dirty and my eyes closed and clean

**Author's Note:**

> i'm back! here's another oneshot in my southern au. these boys are still as mcfucked as before, and this is even more self-indulgent than the last. this one has a bit more of louis' home life, and more insight into the relationship between h and l. cheers~

Louis’ laying in his bed, staring at the ceiling so hard he hopes it’ll fall down on him, when he hears the sounds of his pa coming home. The screen door slams, making a racket throughout the house, and he can already feel the prickle of fear at his spine. 

No matter how many years he’s been in this house, the feeling remains, like an old friend carressing him softly before he gets a sharp knife to the spine. He gets up, leaving his room like he always does. It doesn’t matter how much he’d like to hide, it never does, he has to face the music and greet his pa like the respectful boy he should be. 

He can already hear the list of grievances from where he’s at in the hall. The gruff shouts from his pa as he looks at how messy the living room is, how dirty the kitchen is, and how it’s all his ma’s fault. 

She’s yelling back though, so it must be a good pain day for her. She’s got nerve, joint, and muscle pain that is always leaving her tired and worn. Perhaps her meds have just kicked in, because she seems to be just as keen on a fight as his pa is. 

It’s stressful, and Louis can tell it’ll be a long night regardless of how this pans out. He can just imagine his pa filling his glass almost to the top with whiskey and a splash of coke to mix. There’s already a fifth waiting to be emptied tonight in his hands, and Louis’ not in the mood. 

Louis finally enters the living room of the trailer, standing awkwardly as his parents skirt around him to make their points. It’s loud and their voices are starting to sound hoarse with use. His pa turns to him, shoving his arms out toward the kitchen. 

“Go clean the fucking kitchen, since your ma won’t.” The words are harsh, and it starts up a new yelling match, as Louis walks to the kitchen. 

The sinks full of dishes, as are the counters. The stove is caked with food and grease, and the floor looks disgusting. The more he looks, the less sure he is where to start. Finally he tackles the dishes, hoping there’s a towel somewhere near to dry them on. The dishwasher hasn’t ever worked, and so handwashing was all he could do. 

By the time he’s finally put all the dishes up, his pa has made himself three glasses, and he’s starting to get belligerent. 

“Why don’t you just fill the sink with water, instead of wasting it all?” Louis hears him say, nodding along as if he intends to listen to the advice. The words aren’t cruel, but the meaning is insidious and clear to Louis.  _ Why can’t you do anything right? _ The words bounce around in his head menacingly, pressing up against his eyes, leaving them vaguely weepy. He can feel the words in his throat, burning like a shot of fireball. The vibrations from the words in the air pressing brutally against his chest, and it’s so stupid. 

He shouldn’t be about to cry in the kitchen over something so ridiculous...and yet? Here he is ready to do it. 

The kitchen is still a disaster, just a bit less so, when Louis goes back to the safety of his room to hide. His parents are still shouting, probably will be until his pa’s too drunk to care. Louis’ got no idea how long it’ll take, but he knows that he’s got to wait them out. He can’t sneak out until his pa passes out, and he can tell it’ll be a while yet. 

He knows what he’s going to do in the meantime. He pulls his phone over to him, plugging his headphones in, placing them in his ears easily. He opens the door to his closet, sitting down in the corner. his fingers trace over the end of his clothes that slightly shield his face from view. 

The music he’s blasting is much too loud to be good for his ears, but it’s the only way to block out the thoughts. He’s playing a playlist designed to capitalize on his fragile state and make him cry; something perfect for having an emotional breakdown in his closet. 

If he weren’t already bawling, it might strike him as funny: the fact that he’s holed up in his closet crying like a baby. His pa hadn’t even said anything that bad this time. Louis had heard so much worse over the years, about how dumb he was for getting c’s, and how lazy and messy he was. But the older he gets, the lower the threshold is for upsetting him, and it’s really exhausting. 

Louis cries himself into a frenzy, chest heaving as he tries to catch a breath through his sobs. He’s got snot all over the inside collar of his shirt, the fabric damp against his chest. He feels so stupid. 

After listening to the playlist at least twice, and cycling between soft hiccups and full body sobbing, he checks the time. It’s about eight, and he’s not sure whether his pa will be asleep. He’s not even sure he wants to get up and check. He looks a right puffy mess, with red eyes and a rubbed raw nose. One look and his pa would never leave him alone. He’d have to hug him, and listen as he insisted Louis shouldn’t be upset. Tell him continually that Louis was the problem, that he was getting worked up about nothing. That would only make him cry harder. 

But, it was a chance Louis was willing to take to get out of the house. 

He took out his earbuds, putting his phone in his pocket. He pulled a beanie from his closet, pulling it down enough to push his fringe in front of his eyes. It wasn’t fool-proof but any help was welcome in disguising how he’d spent his evening. 

The trek to the living room was cautious, Louis stepping carefully to avoid making any noise. The television is blaring, and he can hear his ma snoring. The closer he gets, the more he can see in the room. His pa’s recliner is at an odd angle, the head touching the floor, his feet dangling in the air. Louis has never figured out why this always happens when his pa passes out drunk, but it had entertained him when he was younger. Now it was more of a signal that he was safe for the night.

Louis nods to himself, going back to his room to grab his keys, a change of clothes, and his backpack. He won’t be back until school’s out tomorrow, and he couldn’t be happier to get a short reprieve. 

He took his usual route out of the trailer, jumping onto the ground before carefully pushing the back door to. He makes his way to his truck, cranking it without fear of being caught, and starts the drive across town to Harry’s apartment. 

His thoughts are still too loud as he drives, his pa’s words pinging back and forth without pause. Every mean thing his brain can recall begins to cycle through and before he knows it he’s crying again. 

It’s a relatively short drive, considering how small their town is, and how work traffic is long gone. This leaves little time for Louis to work himself back up to how upset he was earlier. But, he knows it won’t matter. As soon as Harry sees him he’ll go ballistic. 

Which is sort of why Louis is even going to Harry rather than hiding out with his neighbor, Chris. Chris is an adult, and therefore Louis can’t tell him why he’s so upset. He can’t be trusted to keep his mouth shut, and so he goes to Harry. Because Harry will never be able to do anything other than be mad. And Harry being mad over him was probably Louis’ favorite version of Harry.

He locks his doors, letting the honk startle him a bit. The loud noise is usually tolerable, but after such a jarring afternoon, it’s almost enough to get him hysterical. As it is, he’s already crying, faint sobs leaving him as he breathes. 

His fist knocks against Harry’s door a few times. It’s soft as hell, and he wouldn’t be surprised if Harry hasn’t even heard him. However, as he’s reaching his fist up to knock again, perhaps a bit louder, the door opens. Standing in front of him in just a pair of boxers is Harry. 

It takes him less than a moment to take in Louis’ emotional state, pulling the boy into the apartment by his shoulders. 

As soon as he feels Harry’s arms wrap around him, he crumples. His face is hiding in Harry’s neck, leaving his skin damp from tears. He tries to calm himself down, because he knows what will follow this brief hug. 

Harry drags him to the couch, pulling Louis on top of him once he’s laid down himself. Louis can feel Harry’s mood changing from worried to enraged, and it makes him feel just a bit more safe. Something about Harry’s volatile temper was soothing. Harry would never physically harm Louis, no matter the big game he talked. But, he was always ready to protect him, and that’s what Louis cared about. Even if protecting went so far as starting a fight with any man who so much as looked at Louis. 

“You gon’ tell me who I need to kill?” Harry said, his voice low and gruff with his anger. 

Louis sighed, continuing to hide his face from view in Harry’s naked torso. 

“‘S pa again.” He mumbled into Harry’s tattooed collarbones. 

Harry let out a frustrated groan, anger progressing into indignation as he thought about how Louis’ father spoke to him. He’d dealt with the aftermath of that man’s words enough times to know that Louis deserved better. ‘Course it wouldn’t be long until Louis was out of high school. He had less than a semester left, and then maybe Harry could convince him to move out. 

Being in that trailer was killing Louis and Harry knew exactly how that felt. He’d dealt with too many shitty foster homes, that it didn’t take him long to skip out, hiding with Bill until he’d turned eighteen and could legally fend for himself. Nobody gave a fuck about him, and that was almost preferable to having his own flesh and blood demean him every chance they got.

Harry pulls Louis’ beanie off, laying it against the back of the couch, his fingers carding through the limp mass of hair on Louis’ head. 

“Your dad’s a sumbitch. I wish you’d fuck off and move out. He can’t hurt you if you don’t let him.”

Louis laughed harshly, raising his head to look into Harry’s eyes. 

“You don’t get it, Harry, and you never will. Yeah he’s awful to me, and yeah, I hate him. But, he’s my pa. He loves me.”

Harry shoved Louis, scrambling to get off the couch. He could feel the words Louis had spoken sliding into his skin like a hot knife through butter. It was a low blow, considering Harry’s family, and it stung more than Harry would ever let on.

“Fuck off, Lou. Just because he loves you doesn’t somehow cancel out all the bullshit he’s done to you. That’s not how love works, dumbass. He’ll never change, so why don’t you just give him the finger and leave?” Harry was shouting at this point, his hands clenched at his side, wishing for something to take his anger out on. 

Louis stood up, stalking closer to Harry, a pinched look on his face. 

“I don’t even know why I bother coming here. If I wanted a cry, I’d have stayed in my room. I don’t need you to defend my honor, like I’m some sniveling little bitch. I came here to forget about it. I came here to get fucked.”

He paused, the air thick with their rage, as he moved ever closer to Harry. He grabbed the other boy’s fists, easily uncurling the fingers. Harry gave him a pitying look, watching as Louis pulled his open palms against his throat, thumbs resting on either side of his windpipe.

“So, how about you fuck the fight right out of me. Then after you’re done cleaning me out, like the good boy you are, we can light up a few joints. I want to float, H.”

Harry sighed, the anger slowly dissipating as he applied light pressure to Louis’ neck. 

“I guess I’ll fuck you. Considering the day you’ve had, I’d say you’ve earned it.”

Louis nodded, effectively pressing further into Harry’s thumbs. 

“Good, because I’d hate to have to do all the work myself, leave you locked out of your room while I rub one out on your bed.” Louis smirked, watching Harry’s mood darken again. 

Harry’s hands migrated down until he reached Louis’ ass, picking him up with practiced ease. Louis hopped a bit, throwing his arms and legs around Harry’s form. 

“Take me to bed, Harry. I’ve got plans for you.” Louis said, raising one arm in the air like a superhero. Harry butted his head lightly into Louis’ as he made his way to his bedroom. 

“Yeah, yeah don’t hurt yourself in your rush.” Harry muttered, easily tossing Louis onto the mattress. He walked over to the bedside table pulling out the lube. “You said you wanted me to clean you out, yeah?” Harry asked before pulling off his boxers. 

Louis sighed, making a big deal as he rolled over to face the other boy. 

“I do recall saying that, but if you’re too stupid to take directions...” His voice tapered off, a sharp jagged edge to it. 

Harry huffed before crawling into bed and straddling Louis. 

“Now, now, that’s no way to be speaking to someone who’s gonna be chokin’ ya. Cruisin’ for a bruisin’ baby.” Harry replied, a bit of a laugh in his voice. “You’re really trying to push my buttons.” He placed his elbows down in the dips of Louis’ collarbones, placing just enough weight into it to make it sting. 

“Oh baby! You know I like it rough!” Louis said, throwing his head back as if he were actually being fucked. His voice was overly breathy, playing it up. “You’ll have to do better than that if you think you’re going to hurt me.” Louis’ smile was broken glass, slicing into Harry easily. “Don’t insult me by thinking this matters.”

Louis had already packed away the sensitive and vulnerable places he had, hiding them behind a wall. He’d always been good at that. Pretending that he wasn’t hurt, and that he was hard and biting. Better to be the one doing the cutting than being cut had been his motto for years. Just because he and Harry were more friends than enemies, did not mean that he was somehow immune to Louis’ cruel words. 

More often than not, Louis’ words left Harry with a heavy heart, and a residual sting. Harry would never admit it though, too weak sounding. He hadn’t been weak in years, he was  _ not  _ going to start now. Usually he just worked it out in the ring, or practicing with Bill. Today, however, he was going to get the rare treat of taking it out on Louis directly. 

The boy wanted to choke? Harry could give him that and so much more.

He removed his elbows, smirking at the angry red marks left behind on the tawny skin. Harry quickly attached his lips to the place his left elbow had been, working a bruise into the skin to make the mark more permanent. After marking one side, Harry moved to the other, nibbling into Louis’ skin with his blunt teeth. 

He leaned back, satisfied with his work. 

“Time to take off all these clothes, Louis. Hard to fuck you with your jeans still on.” Harry said, easily moving off the other boy so he could remove his layers. He helped pull Louis’ shirt off, before watching him shimmy out of his shoes and socks.

“I’m sure you of all people, would be able to find a way to do it.” Louis replied, before removing his jeans and boxer briefs. 

Harry shrugged, pushing Louis back down onto the mattress. He grabbed hold of the lube bottle, slicking his fingers up with ease. Harry gave Louis a dark look before slowly pressing two of his fingers in as far as he could get them. Louis let out a pleased noise, his mouth falling open without his permission. 

He began to thrust his fingers in and out, purposefully avoiding Louis’ prostate. Louis was less than impressed, pressing his hips back in hopes of spurring Harry to touch him where he wanted. After doing it a few times, Louis gave up, putting his arms across his chest. He was pouting like a little kid, waiting to get his way. 

Harry had other plans, though, continuing to tease Louis as punishment for his caustic words earlier. He worked to a third finger, laughing as Louis squirmed.

“Harry, stop being a fucking tease.” Louis said, his words slow and full of barely concealed rage. 

A hum left Harry’s lips as he pulled his fingers out of Louis. He leaned down muttering into the soft flesh of Louis’ stomach. 

“Shut the fuck up before I make you, Louis.” He bit harshly into the other boy’s skin to emphasize his point. “I’ll tease you until you blackout if I feel so inclined. You’re the one that wanted to float, shitbird.” 

Louis made an ugly face, flicking Harry as hard as he could on his head. Harry bit into Louis’ skin harder, leaving the imprint of his teeth. He pulled back, smiling at the mark, imagining how great it would look in the morning when it was a mottled purple and black bruise. He’d have to sneak a picture of it before Louis woke up, so he could admire it forever. 

“Please don’t make me kill you in your sleep, Harry. You know my pa owns more guns than necessary.” Louis says, grabbing Harry by his curls, pulling his head up so he can make eye contact with him. “And to think I almost didn’t learn to use them. Coming in handy now, ain’t it baby?”

Louis let Harry go, and he immediately rolled his eyes before grabbing hold of the bottle of lube. 

“You’re too pussy to shoot me. Plus it’d break your momma’s heart.” Harry said, leaning back on his heels so he can coat his cock in lube. “Now get up, I want you to ride me. Know your daddy taught you to ride a horse. I’m sure you can handle it.” He said, his voice lilting and teasing. His eyes however were harsh and cutting.

Louis got out of the way, watching as Harry laid back against his pillows. He made quite the visual, laying out cock hard and curved against his skin. Harry’s legs were splayed out, waiting for Louis to climb onto him. He was sitting there like a king overseeing his kingdom, and the smug look on his face made Louis want to deck him hard in his lovely mouth. 

Harry patted his hip, beckoning Louis closer, and Louis climbed on him. He took his seat on his throne, thumbing Harry’s nipples as he leaned forward to kiss Harry. 

Louis pressed their lips together, enjoying the smooth glide of slick mouths working together. He bit into Harry’s lip with only a bit more pressure than usual, causing the other man to groan, trying in vain to get Louis to release it. After a moment of struggle, Louis pulled back, stretching the lip a bit before it popped from between his teeth. He placed a soothing kiss to Harry’s bottom lip, letting his tongue soothe it a bit.

“Bit of payback for that wicked bite mark I’m gonna be dealing with.” Louis said, lightly patting Harry’s cheek like an old woman would. “Eye for an eye and all that.”

Harry rolled his eyes, sucking his bottom lip back into his mouth. He gestured toward his where Louis was sitting, motioning for him to move backwards and get to work.

“Okay, I’m going, I’m going. Don’t get your panties in a bunch.” Louis put all his weight onto his knees, shuffling backwards a bit. He grabbed hold of Harry’s dick, pressing the head of it against his hole. He could feel it fluttering as he began to push, he beared down, trying to make this as easy for himself as possible. 

It was slow going, Louis not in the mood to drop down like usual. Harry was letting out harsh breaths, wanting desperately to thrust up into Louis to speed the process. He knew better than to do that, though, resorting to biting his knuckle while he waited. 

“Fuck,” Louis said, as he finally bottomed out. “I forgot just how thick you were.” Harry let out a laugh that morphed into a gasp halfway through. Louis had begun to make little figure eights with his hips, squeezing Harry’s cock as he went. 

Harry thrust up in response, causing Louis to bounce a bit, his cock bobbing from the force of it. 

“Let me remind you, Lou.” He said, punctuating his sentence by thrusting up again. He smiled, leaning back against the pillows as Louis began to lift himself up. 

Louis worked up quite a rhythm, tiring himself out before he was even close to coming. He leaned down, letting himself lay on Harry’s torso. 

“I think you’re gonna have to take over, boss. I’m a bit worn out from crying earlier.” Louis said, pressing soft kisses to Harry’s pecks wherever he could reach. 

Harry pushed back the sweaty fringe on Louis’ forehead, before pulling out. Louis let out a groan, his face rubbing against Harry’s chest at the loss. Harry rolled them over so he was now on top of Louis. 

“Now I can get my hands around your neck, baby.” Harry muttered into Louis’ ear. “Just tell me when you’re getting close, and I’ll make you float.” 

Louis’ eyes gleamed at the thought, nodding his head in agreement. He pushed his hips up, rubbing his cock against Harry’s abs, letting out a sweet moan when he got the friction he so desired. 

“Stop that,” Harry said lifting further away from Louis, “I thought you were too tired.” 

With a huff, Louis lowered his hips, glaring at Harry.

“You were taking too long. You act like you can’t talk to me and fuck me.” Louis said, smiling cheekily up at Harry. “Course if your pea brain can’t even do that, there’s really no hope for you, is there?’

Harry rolled his eyes, before pressing his cock back into Louis’ tight ass. 

“Honestly you talk entirely too much.” He pressed his cock against Louis’ prostate every time he spoke a word, hoping it would be enough to shut Louis up. “Maybe I oughta fuck that out of you too.” He continued his relentless attack on Louis, smirking fondly as the other boy let out melodious whimpers at the sensation. His mouth was open wide, lips dark from kissing. His eyes were scrunched closed, and his hands were clenched in fists by his side. 

It wasn’t long before he was begging, body vibrating with unspent energy. 

“Harry, Harry, please, come on. I’m close, come on. You promised come on.” He drug out the syllables, whining in hopes that Harry would put his hands to good use.

“Okay, Louis, calm down.” He replied through gritted teeth. 

It was a bit of an ordeal holding himself up enough to thrust, while placing one hand on his neck. He placed pressure on the sides of Louis’ neck, avoiding pressing into his windpipe. After a few seconds he let go before pressing down again. Louis let out a hum as he felt the headrush from getting choked. 

Harry kept up his rhythm, hoping Louis would come quickly so he could put both arms back on the bed. 

Louis was letting out soft noises, moaning at how good he felt all over. It wasn’t long before he was meeting Harry’s thrusts, and coming all across his chest.

Harry continued to thrust into Louis as he came down from his orgasm. It took another minute or so for Harry to feel his orgasm, his balls pulling up to his body the faster he thrusted. He buried himself back into Louis, trying to hold himself up as he came inside of Louis. It took him a few moments before he could pull out, cleaning his dick off on the duvet. Louis was making happy mumbles as Harry shoved himself down the mattress. Once he was in position, Harry pulled Louis’ legs over his shoulders, spreading his ass cheeks. 

He nosed along the skin, the fine hairs tickling him. Harry placed a small kiss on Louis’ hole, smiling when he heard the other boy gasp. He licked a stripe up Louis’ hole, his nose bumping into the other boy’s balls as he went. There was a bit of cum leaking from Louis, so Harry lapped it up. He pressed the tip of his tongue into Louis, ignoring the faint taste of lube and ass, in favor of cleaning out his own cum. 

Louis was writhing further up the bed, his head shaking from side to side at Harry’s ministrations. He was too sensitive, but Harry didn’t care, opting to continue to pull his cum out of Louis with his tongue. Louis continued to squirm, kicking Harry’s back with his heels.

After finally deeming the other boy clean enough, he began to work his way back up to Louis’ head, licking up the cum along his torso as he went. 

“Harry,” Louis groaned, stretching the word for as long as he could. “Stop. I’m sensitive.”

The other boy chuckled, pulling them both under the covers to sleep.

“Don’t worry, Lou. I’m done for now. You can go to sleep now.” But, the smaller boy was already kicking the covers off to get out of bed. 

Harry watched him, a hint of amusement in his eyes, dimples popping out for a brief moment before he schooled them away. 

“What are you doing?” Harry called, as Louis began to waddle back into the living room.

“Want a joint,” was all he got in reply. 

Harry was almost asleep when he heard the light footsteps of Louis entering the room. He blearily opened his eyes, watching as Louis placed an ashtray on the bedside table. 

Louis passed him the joint, climbing into bed as Harry took a few tokes. Harry passed it back once Louis had flopped into bed and made himself comfortable. He  watched as Louis tapped the ashes off before pulling a long, deep drag from the joint. Harry reached over, taking the joint back into his hands, taking a slow pull as Louis began to expel the smoke. 

It didn’t take them much time to smoke through the joint, and Louis ashed it out before it got too short to hold. 

Harry laid back, grinning cheesily when Louis joined him, placing his head on Harry’s chest like a pillow. 

With a soft hum, Louis wrapped an arm around Harry, feeling how floaty and sated he was. His brain was fuzzy in the best way, and he almost couldn’t even remember what he’d been so upset about earlier. 

His body felt like molten metal, sinking into Harry, and molding them together. It was an odd feeling, considering he’d never considered staying with Harry into the future. But, with the way he was drawn to him like a magnet, Louis wasn’t sure he’d be able to leave him behind. 

**Author's Note:**

> alright lemme know how u feel, shoot me a comment, leave me a kudos, send me anon asks complaining about how short my fics always are.  
> you can find me on tumblr [@tippingbrandy](https://tippingbrandy.tumblr.com/) and don't forget to reblog my post [here](https://tippingbrandy.tumblr.com/post/163347853591/youre-so-good-at-talking-smack-10k-pairing). i'd a-pee-cee-ate it !


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